Pre-College Sentiments

I don't know how many of you actually pay attention to my categories but I do have quite a lot of categories that I am trying to balance. And I can't believe I just added another one but hey, I'll learn to multitask better with this blog. Anyway, I decided to start this new segment although I don't know when I'm going to post yet. If you've followed me for awhile it should come as no surprise that I post every Monday and Friday and the post's vary by content so, I don't know about this #RealTalk posts. It might come towards the end of the month. I have yet to figure things out, but I decided to do some #realRealTalk before I start the next crazy rollercoaster of College.

(Usually I write posts way ahead of time because I like being prepared for the unexpected ie. homework/projects/going out with friends etc.)

Okay, here goes nothing...

Does anyone else think that when you're young, all you want to do is grow up and be mature and responsible but once you've actually grown up all you wanna be is young again and totally carefree with no worries in the world other than catching the eye of your crush?

Well, that's kind of what I've been feeling for the past month.

I know that other people may have it slightly easier than me because their mother's are with them for the entire journey but not me. My mother left to go back to Australia earlier this summer and suddenly I'm stuck with a sister who is still too young to know anything, and a father who has relied on my mother for the past 20 years of his life to tell him what to do and where to sign his name. I never realized how much responsibility my mother carried on her shoulders until this summer and I don't know how to tell her how appreciative I am of her through the phone (plus, I'm also not a person for emotional confrontations...I hate them...). Everyone, APPRECIATE YOUR MOTHER!

Anyway, out of no where, I'm suddenly a 'grown up' in the eyes of society having to learn to live by myself/living with others, learning to do laundry (which I learnt at a young age but sometimes I still rely on my parents to do it for me), learning to eat a healthy meal and not going to a fast food joint just to get fast food (no pun intended). It's going to be weird.

And as I come to the end of my childhood journey, I realized that I never took full advantage of my carefree years.

I studied like crazy to get the grades my parents wanted, to live up the expectations my friends put on me to be "the overachiever" and to be pleased with my own hard work. But now that I look back, I gave up a lot for that one letter. I gave up friends, I gave up sleep, I gave up laughing and I gave up doing things I love doing. I put so much strain on myself that I forgot what it was like to live it up. Now, I want to live it up but get good grades at the same time. Because I know that once college is over, I won't have much time to live it up.

I really just want to let all you people who's starting high school know that enjoy high school. Yes, it'll be stressful with friends, boys/girls, classes, teachers, homework etc but don't forget to live the life that you want to live. Obviously you still gotta make good choices but just do what you want and be ready to live with the consequences of your actions. Because this summer, I have gotten the after effects of my high school years. And it ain't pretty. Regardless, live your life. You have the rest of your life to work and make money so don't worry about that as much (unless you have to).

For those of you who are starting college and are as freaked out as I am....FREAK THE FU&K OUT!! Because once you get to college, you can't afford to freak. I know that while I'm still at home I'm going to be scared sh^t out of my wits, but once I get to college, I'll go going through a whirlwind of stuff and won't really have the time or mental capacity to really freak out.

College is about new experiences, learning who you are and where your passions lie, making lifelong friends, and learning the responsibility for the rest of your life.

I'm crazy nervous and crazy scared, but I'm also crazy excited. I'm excited to really start college and learning my way through life without being babyed any more. Honestly, the responsibility this summer has been hard-hitting, but at the same time I know that I can take care of myself and learn about these things. I'm growing up. I have to. And you will have to too. Whether you like it or not.

Okay, enough #ReaLife.