Giving Up Toxic Friendships
Everyone has a moment in their life where they realize their friendship with a certain person, or sometimes, a certain group of people, is toxic.
If you believe you haven’t experienced this, then you would be lying to yourself. It might even be someone in your life right now.
In my experience, those toxic friendships are the friendships that you may have valued once the very most and don’t want to give it up because of how much value you put on it since the very beginning.
As a child, or even a teenager, it’s even harder to give up on those friendships because of the following possible factors:
- You don’t know what toxic feels like.
- You don’t know what toxic really means in a relationship.
- You maybe inherently believe in the good of others (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing until it becomes the reason you make excuses for others behavior).
- You believe that friendships last forever.
I’d hate to be the person that bursts the bubble for anyone, but unfortunately, those factors were the main reasons why I refused to give up on toxic relationships when I was young. And I find it to be very similar across the board, with variations of course.
But as I got older and left my teenage years, I learnt the following:
- Sometimes you can do everything right, but some people will just not think it’s enough for them. That’s when to give them up, and move on.
- Sometimes you can make excuses for others, but there are only so many excuses you can make that you actually believe is true. That’s also when to give them up, and move on.
- And sometimes, friendships are just meant to be during a certain period of your life. A gateway, so to speak. And as always, be sure to remember the good, and then, when you’re ready, move on.
These things definitely sound easier to achieve on paper than it does in person and I cannot even begin to recount the amount of heart ache and heart pain I’ve gone through to learn these lessons.
If you have not experienced what is considered a toxic friendship, then I envy you. Because you may be one of the lucky ones. But if you think you have escaped, you are wrong. You will be making friendships for the rest of your lives, and you cannot expect every single one of them to last a lifetime. So keep in mind the lessons I have learnt but just remember: everyone learns different kinds of things from different experiences.
I will never push my lessons on anyone, but would just like to share my wisdom, like a friend giving advice.
Take away what you might, but I sincerely wish you have happy friendships that do not get to a toxic point and then you can just smile at this post, and move on.
Regardless, just always remember that it is okay to trust others, but it is also okay to be suspecting of others as well. Just be sure to do both in moderation and believe that people are inherently good, but how good is to be determined by the actions they make.
Giving up toxic friendships takes practice, and yes, it will hurt like crazy. But where there is pain, there is also laughter, so focus on the good, and you will make it through.