22 | Birthday Thoughts + Birthday Lessons
My birthday was yesterday and I decided to share with you some lessons I've learned prior to turning 22.
You do not need to waste time and energy to please others.
Not going to lie, this is a lesson that I have learnt more than once.
I know, I know, I don't seem to be taking this lesson seriously, but I really have, or at least I hope I have.
Overall, I feel like I have grown up with the pressure on my shoulders to please everyone, to make sure others are happy, even at the cost of my own happiness and wellbeing. Well, I am here to officially refute that.
I'm tired, and done with pleasing others. It takes too much of my time and energy to do, especially when they do not give me any acknowledgement and do not seem to realize the pain it causes me.
So if you are trying to please someone right now, realize that you do not need to. If they care for you, they should want your happiness and wellbeing just as much as their own.
It is not your duty to take care of everyone else but yourself.
Sometimes, other's just cannot be pleased, no matter what you do.
Something I have realized is that I can do everything right - I can tiptoe around other people's emotions, do everything they ask me to do, and be there for them when they ask for me - but it is never enough.
There is always something I didn't do, something I did wrong, and something I did not do enough.
And I've come to realize that everyone has their own expectations of me, they expect me to behave a certain way and then show disappointment when I don't make the cut.
Well, I've realized that to cater to other people's expectations is an utter waste of time.
Some people just cannot be pleased, and I have to accept that.
Friendships are not meant to last forever.
There are a lot of theories out there about friendships, one of which is that college friendships will last forever.
If you talked to me a year ago, I would've totally agreed.
But now, not so much.
Because friendships are not meant to last forever.
We, as humans, evolve and change, and sometimes that evolution and change causes the realization that where there used to be compatibility, there isn't any more.
I will say that I am in my own way lucky to have one friend that refutes this claim, but all my other friendships has fallen victim to this life lesson.
But what I am really here to refute is that when you enter into a friendship to expect it to "last forever", you may find that you are building expectations for it.
And the more expectations you have, the harder you fall.
So give up on those expectations when you meet someone new. Because then that's when it will (hopefully) actually work out.
Life is unpredictable, but it will work itself out.
I have realized that life has a funny way of working itself out.
When all hope seems lost, something good may happen.
And when something good is consecutively happening to you, it's almost stupid to not expect something bad.
I know some people call that karma, but I call that the circle of life.
Where there is good, there will also be bad. But also, vice versa.
Remember that, and you'll realize that nothing is going to be as bad/good as it seems for long.
People will show they care if they care.
Something I should've realized a long time ago is that words are meaningless, if it isn't proven by action/s.
People can tell you as much as they want that they are there for you, that they care about your wellbeing, and that they want you to be happy, but if they do not have the actions that go with those words, then they are lying.
Actions speak louder than words after all.
I know that these life lessons all sound really negative, and I only realized them after I finished writing this blog post :P
But I think that in order for anyone to learn any life lessons, there would be a negative event that accompanies it. And as mean and heartless as that sounds, that's how humans learn.
If you think back to the life lessons you've learned, I'm sure you'll realize that those life lessons are attached to a negative event.
But it's also important to remember that, like I said above, where there is bad, there is also good, and these life lessons are the good of the negative events.
What life lessons have you learnt recently?