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the sophia diaries

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6 Years of Dating: 6 Things We've Learnt About Love & Ourselves

6 Years of Dating: 6 Things We've Learnt About Love & Ourselves

He and I have been together for 6 years (*insert gasp here*). It's crazy how quickly time flies. 

So anyway, usually I don't share with you all my relationship milestone because...well...some of you might not care. But this year, since our anniversary actually fell on a Monday, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to share with you all 6 lessons we've learnt in the last 6 years. And this time...he will be writing too! 

Just saying, I literally sent him a picture of this blog post without my writing so he has no idea what I wrote. Thought it would also be a fun little experiment! Hahaha

Her Perspective

1. Love is about wanting to see the other person smile.  

I have my fair share of embarrassing moments in front of him. (And to be fair, he does to me too.) But even though I hate those moments to my core, as soon as I see him burst into laughter, I automatically feel happy that I could make him laugh...even at the expense of myself. 

2. Having an argument once in awhile is natural, and should be expected. 

He and I haven't actually argued before because we've been long distance, but, we still have fights through the phone/computer. I hate them. I mean, who actually likes them? But because I hate arguing or confrontations, I try to avoid them. However, you have to admit that having an argument is healthy for a relationship. Tt reminds you that you are arguing with them because you love them, and you want things to work out. 

3. Love is when you've been together for 6 years and you still get butterflies when you're with him. 

I honestly cannot stress this enough. You basically know you are still in love with someone when seeing them every day still gives you butterflies, kissing them still gives you butterflies, and even holding hands gives you butterflies. (So sorry for the sap lol)

4. Relationships take work, and can be painful.

There's a good phrase to use here...'where there is love, there is hate'. (This is a Chinese phrase I hear a lot when watching Chinese dramas lol, I just translated it into English xD) Only when you love someone, can you hate them as well. Because life isn't just one feeling, it's a spectrum of feelings, and so are relationships and love. 

5. Two wholes should be coming together, not two halves.

If two halves are coming together to make a whole, then I suggest you leave the whole and go find your own whole. He and I, even though we met in high school, were two wholes to begin with. We knew who we were, what we wanted, and that's one of the many reasons why I think we have survived together for so long. 

6. Love is selfish. 

I don't mind sharing most of my things. But there are a few things/people I don't like sharing, and he is one of them. I just get protective and jealous (yes, there's that word lol). But it's important to be selfish when you love someone. I mean, don't be so selfish you don't let them out with friends or coworkers or parties etc. but realize that there's nothing wrong with feeling protective over them. 

His Perspective

In no particular order:

1. I snore

I always thought I did not snore, that I was a peaceful and silent sleeper. Then Sophia presented me with a recording of me snoring one morning and it blew my mind. We also learned that sleeping sideways helps!

2. Candor communication is key

Duh, especially in LDR, but not exclusive to it! Not any regular communication though, but an open and honest one where you feel comfortable to talk about your advices, dreams, frustrations, problems, pet-peeves, etc. I sincerely believe that an important aspect of a committed relationship is the commitment to push each other to become a better person. And to be able to do that, there has to be trust, and that trust is something that takes a while to build.

3. Makes your hobbies so much better

I am a Marvel geek. We both enjoy the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) movies and every time we watch a new Marvel movie, we end up discussing it for hours, talking about what we loved and what we didn’t and updating our movie ranking. Being able to share my passion and love for comic book characters with somebody I love has made it even more fun and enjoyable experience me and hopefully for Sophia as well.

4. Loving you has made me love myself more

I never hated myself, but I have always been critical of myself. But then you fill me with confidence and optimism, turning me from a negative to a positive person. I now put more effort in my hygiene and body that I feel refreshed and good. Being around you doesn’t only fill me with warmth but also makes me feel like I am an adult who has their sh*t together. In that state, I have learned to be less critical of myself and accept aspects of me that I never liked because I know you love me for who I am.

5. I have learned more about myself by being with you

I never knew how much I could care and tender I can be. I didn’t know I could get so emotionally frustrated and invested in somebody. And I didn’t know how much I could miss and love a person until I’ve met you.

6. The mundane is the best

Sophia and I have done some exciting trips over the years, each with great moments engraved in my memory. But nothing beats the moment of waking up and seeing Sophia lying next to me, still asleep, or cooking our meal together. A simple cuddle on a couch while we watch Jessica Jones while being wrapped in a blanket, getting lost in Ikea, arguing about what kind of cups we want are all great moments that is near and dear to my heart. Here’s for another six great years and more full of excitement and the mundane. I love you.

Would you like to see more of my bf's writing? Hahaha
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P.S. No part of this post was meant to show off as a brag. He and I recognize that we are lucky to have found each other when we did. 

23 | Birthday Thoughts + 23 Things I've Learned About Myself

23 | Birthday Thoughts + 23 Things I've Learned About Myself

Monthly Mantra: April 2018

Monthly Mantra: April 2018