How To: Survive a Long Distance Relationship
A little history, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years, and of those 5 years, 4.7/5 was a LDR.
Yeah, I know, how did we get through it?!
Unfortunately, we are still not being done through it.
The first four years was because he went to a college far from my high school. But the last 3 years is because I currently attend a college far from him.
Basically long distance characterizes our relationship.
And I cannot tell you how much praise and comments I've received for that. But don't worry, it has it's challenges too, and so I am here to tell the world what he and I do to survive this distance.
Honestly, I cannot stress this point enough. If I had to choose ONE tip, it would be this one.
Because of the classes I am taking, the extra curricular activities I am a part of, and my blog, I am often so busy and my days are so filled that by the time I get into bed, I haven't even had the time to really think about how much I miss him.
Don't get me wrong, I still think about him every day (we still text each other every day), but the time I have dedicated thinking about how MUCH and how BADLY I miss him is shortened which is good for me.
Plan far ahead, and then plan a little ahead
We are at that part of our relationship where we are mature enough, and have enough resources to plan trips with each other.
Of course, you don't have to plan trips. You can just plan on things you want to do together when you go home to see him like restaurants to try, places to hike, etc.
And while you can plan far ahead, also don't forget to plan for the next week/month before you see each other.
My BF and I have an agreement where if it works for both of us, we will video chat once a week. That way, we still spend the time together, and we aren't just communicated through our phone screens.
Trust each other
What relationship will work if there is no trust?
But for an LDR, that trust is even more important. If you do not trust each other to want to be in an LDR, to be in a relationship with you, then it will cause a whole host of problems that just ends up being dragged on.
Build each other up
If you are in an LDR, one of the biggest ways show you care for each other, is to build each other up, motivate each other, encourage each other, and be there for each other (not physically of course).
One of the biggest misconceptions about LDR is that because of the distance, you cannot do the same things as a regular relationship but you absolutely can, you'll just be doing it through the phone or computer screen.
Learn together, even with the distance
Don't let your LDR become stagnant, keep it fun, keep it interesting, and keep trying to find ways to learn from one another.
An example for my bf and I is that we are doing the Bullet Journal system together (if you don't know what that is, you can find my blog posts here) so we are constantly talking to each other about what's working and what isn't, and encouraging each other to try our new layouts etc.
That keeps our bond together, and it reminds each other that we still have so much we still don't know about each other.
Below are the tips my BF added to this list :)
Cherish the time you do have together
I totally forgot about this point because it comes so naturally to me, but this is something you should absolutely do.
Depending on how far you are from your S/O, sometimes you only have a few days with each other, or if you're lucky, a few weeks/months. Make sure you take advantage of that time you have for each other.
Personally, whenever I am in the area/back home, I am always sacrificing family time to see him (which makes me sounds like a terrible daughter but my parents understand!) because I want to see him as much as I can before I have to go back to school.
This comes with the whole "trust each other" point. If you communicate with each other and be as open as you can with each other, you will be able to trust each other well.
As much as I hate LDR, and as much as he hates LDR, we have both learned to accept that this is what it's going to be like for the next year.
Don't live your relationship in denial. Accepting the fact that you have to deal with the distance and with the lack of impromptu dates you can have is the first part of surviving LDR, and implementing the other tips.
I won't sugarcoat it: LDR sucks.
I hate it. And I want it to be over already.
But it isn't, and won't be for awhile, so I have accepted that this is the way it's going to be for a bit. But good thing I am so busy I don't even have time to dwell on it :P
What's your opinion of LDR's? Are you in one? What tips do you have that I did not think of?