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How To: Stop Saying Yes to Everything

How To: Stop Saying Yes to Everything


I've had this problem for almost my entire life, and to be fair, I still have this feeling most of the time. 

I just want to please people, and then I basically stress myself out trying to make them happy. 

But throughout the past few years, I've developed some 'tips' for how I stop saying yes to everything. 

Go with your gut feeling

Honestly, I've had moments in my life where people asked me to do things, and I felt my stomach drop. (As cliche as that saying is, it's actually based in reality... of course, it doesn't physically drop, but if you've had that feeling before, you totally know what I mean!) 

That's how I know that I don't actually want to do it. I don't want to do it, and my body knows it. 

Don't take anything personally

If people get mad at you for choosing to say no, don't take it personally. They asked to put you in such a predicament, so they shouldn't be giving you crap for not saying yes to whatever it is they asked you to do. 

One thing to keep in mind is that if they take it personally, then maybe they are so selfish, that they don't care about how you're feeling about the favor, but they just need you to do it. 

In that case, I just end up giving them a weird look, shrug my shoulders, and then walk away. 

Don't let other's take things personally

Going off the previous point, make sure you explain to them why you said no. 

Just saying 'No, I don't want to', won't cut it, especially if they are your friend. Before they ask why (or sometimes they won't even, and then passively fume at you), explain to them why. 

By being transparent with them, you will eventually eliminate any chances of them taking things personally for you saying no. 

Remember that you need a break too

We got 24 hours a day, but 6 of those hours should be for sleep, so we really only got 18 hours. If we factor in 3 meals, that'll cut it down to 15 hours. If you are a college student, you'll have a range between 8-13 hours/day to get anything done (that's an average). If you are a full time employee, you'll only have 7 hours a day to get anything done. 

So remember those numbers, and remember that you need a break too. You can't possibly do everything other people ask of you, and still have enough time for yourself. 

If they ask for a favor... 

Don't just say yes. When I was young, this is how my conversations would've gone: 

"Hey, can I ask you for a favor?'

'Oh, sure! Whatever you need, I'll help you.' 

And then I realized that I was doing it to myself. 

So now my conversations go like this: 

"Hey, can I ask you for a favor?'

'Depends on the favor. What is it?' 

Once I started answering like this, I became a lot more aware of what I was going to be getting myself into, and that became important for me to keep in mind. Even if it's a close friend... or my boyfriend, I would say that to them. 

How do you stop saying yes to everything? 

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