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the sophia diaries

Thank you for dropping by! I am here to help you discover your best qualities and how to present yourself confidently to the rest of the world. Join me on this journey! 

How To: Compare Yourself to Others Without Hurting Yourself

How To: Compare Yourself to Others Without Hurting Yourself

 

As someone who is very against comparing, I do think that there can be good in comparing, as long as its done right and for the right reasons. 

This post is dedicated to those of us who may want to get inspiration with other people's success, and want to follow similar footsteps. 

As a blogger, I do this a lot myself. I compare what I do to other bloggers, but I also remind myself that I am not them. So today I am sharing with you all how I am comparing myself without hurting myself. 


Don't always look at what others have and what you don't have 

In my intro I said that I compare what I do to other bloggers, but what I don't do is look at what I don't have. I always focus on what I do have that is similar to others, or is a trait that I can use to my advantage. When we compare ourselves negatively to other people, that can actually leave a heavier mark on our brains than positive comparing ourselves. So if you have to compare yourself, think positive.

look at what others have done to get what they have

The problem with comparison is that we always look at what other people have. But we forget how they got there. Take, for example, Aimee Song, aka Song of Style. Yes, she has millions of IG followers, goes to all the Fashion Weeks, and is invited to all the parties. But don't forget, she started years ago, and had continued her hard work without the last decade or so before reaching where she got right now. So if you compare yourself to her, remember how much work and effort she put in to get there. 

use what other's have accomplished as motivation to better yourself 

Don't just compare, actually use that comparison to enhance yourself. Learn from them, and then incorporate those lessons into your daily routine/thoughts. 

don't always compare 

This is the big one. DO NOT ALWAYS COMPARE YOURSELF. 

Doing it once in awhile, or just focusing on one role model is fine. But doing it on a daily basis or on everyone is going to be too much. 

Not only going to be too much, but if you are comparing every single person/blogger, then you'll have a lot of contradicting ideas happening. So find one or two people to compare yourself to, and just stick with them. 

focus on only comparing on one or two things

Don't compare your whole life to their whole life. For one, they may not even be the same age as you, and two, you only know as much as they reveal on social media. You don't really know what their life has been like. So only focus on a few aspects of them to really look at. But also, that is a healthy amount. 


Are you a comparer or not? 
Do you believe in healthy comparisons?

P.S./WARNING: It took me about 21-22 years for me to learn the difference between positive comparing and negative comparing. This will take time. If you know you are not mentally or emotionally ready for comparing, please do NOT do it. It can really hurt you emotionally. 

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